On Hold

For the last month and a half, I don’t know if I was more worried about finding out I had cancer or the nasty procedure that would snip out a piece of my cervix to find out. I had the colposcopy yesterday afternoon. I have to admit it wasn’t nearly as painful or traumatic as I had feared. I’d expected to have to wait another week for results, but afterwards, she said she’d done this for 20 years and saw nothing in me that looked like cancer. She’ll call with the results, of course, but for now just plan on having pap tests every six months for the next two years to be safe.

My mind has been in such a jumbled state for so long that the relief has come in waves. Even though we all kept telling each other we knew it was going to be fine, my daughters and mom all said they were really more worried than they had let on. Me, too. I never would let myself dwell too long on the worst case scenario, but I have now realized there was a lot of my life I was putting on hold. It felt like ever since I got to Austin, not only my body, but my home was falling apart as well.

Is there some kind of weird connection?

Body: Lack of sleep was becoming more of an issue. My energy level was extremely low and enthusiasm for doing anything or going anywhere was pretty much zilch.

MH: Engine battery keeps dying. I’ve had to replace it way too often lately, but since I’m sitting still for a while, I put that on hold.

Body: My teeth needed attention and the dentist said I needed thousands of dollars of work done. Even though I know one of my crowns is cracking, since nothing hurt at the moment, I put that on hold.

MH: The slide had been out of adjustment for over a year, but after trying two places, I was told by an authorized Winnebago repair service that it would have to be completely removed to fix it - a time consuming and expensive proposition. Since it still worked and I didn’t have the money to spend, I put that on hold.

Body: Even if I don’t have cervical cancer (thank God), there are other physical issues I need to deal with as my body ages, including my diet, exercise and all that other non-fun stuff.

MH: Combo microwave and oven quit working. Tried all the breakers, etc. - everything else works, but it is completely lifeless. I miss it, but have been able to make do with the stove and the toaster oven. Another put off.

Besides the stuff already really broke, the general maintenance and repairs needed after 7 years of fulltiming in a rolling home was getting to be significant.

I’d already been through the thought process of whether I should just quit traveling and settle down, but it didn’t take long at all for my mind and heart to veto that idea. I may be a bit despondent and scared at the moment, but I am sure that I want to continue traveling whenever I can.

I’ve really loved my first motorhome and Inspiration has served me well. But I’ve been weighing the pros and cons of either keeping and repairing it, or possibly trading it in for a newer model.

With the RV market the way it is, I’m sure I’d have a better shot at trading it in for something newer at a dealer than I would trying to sell it myself. I still have three more years to pay on it, but I got such a great deal when I bought it, I don’t believe I’d have a problem at least getting what I owe on it.

I also like the idea of getting something a tad bit little smaller, maybe a 34 footer. There have been places I couldn’t fit into because of that 2-1/2 foot difference.

So I’ve been thinking that if I could find something for about the same price I paid for Inspiration, I’d still have about the same monthly payment as now. Only problem I’ve seen so far is that motorhomes I’ve seen online from dealers in that price range don’t have all the bells and whistles that this one has. I’ve gotten used to things like a heat pump so I don’t have to use my propane as much and a washer/dryer so I don’t have to go to the laundromat, just to name a couple.

But I’m going to start the process of looking around because as I’ve always told other people who write me about how I started fulltiming - start taking baby steps and somehow things start lining up. It’s good to have a goal again and I’m tired of being on hold!