Early Birds!

The twins weren’t due to be born until March 8, but apparently they got tired of hanging out in the womb, so decided to join the world on January 8. We’ve all been in a flurry of activity and a whirlwind of emotions since then. I’ve started a couple of pages on my website with pics, but will use this blog for updates in between times of posting to the website.

What an exciting night and the culmination of months of conflicting emotions and ideas on everyone’s part. But whatever the consequences, Caitlin fought for these two beings to be born.

At different times, different factors on both sides of the families thought she should either have an abortion or give them up for adoption - no one thought at first it was a good idea for her to keep and try to raise two children.

As for choosing abortion, she said all along she just could not live with “killing her babies” so that took care of that subject.

As for choosing adoption, there were times she wondered about her ability to give the babies the kind of life she wanted them to have. She didn’t even know how to drive, had never held a job and hadn’t finished high school. She knew she had to get an education if she was ever going to be able to provide for them in the future. Could she get her diploma while raising twins? Of course she couldn’t do that on her own by herself.

I’ve never been more proud of my own daughter in the way she took care of Caitlin during this time. To Angelique’s credit, she stood firm in her resolve not to force a decision on Caitlin. She voiced her opinions rationally (ok, sometimes even irrationally) but she would stand by her daughter no matter what that decision, but the decision was to be Caitlin’s.

Even if it meant Angelique moving to Georgetown, a 30+ mile commute to work and all the accompanying traffic nightmares and the ridiculous price of gas money. But the special needs school there would make it possible for Caitlin to continue school while her babies were cared for in the same building at no cost. The last thing Angelique wants is to live in Georgetown, but she is willing to make that sacrifice since no similar program exists in Austin.

Even when she had to take off so much time from work to get Caitlin to doctor appointments, hold her hand through her fears - even when her plans for her own life for the next few years were being put on hold, not to mention the financial burden - she was determined to be a support for her daughter and to see her through it as best she could. She did sincerely thank President Bill for the FMLA that assured her being able to keep her job during all the times she had to take off work. But she works weekends and long hours to make up for it and to have full paychecks whenever possible. I guess it’s because she’s my baby that I sometimes worry more about her than I do about Caitlin and the girls.

There were early doubts about how much the father would be involved as he went through his own fears about becoming a father at the age of 17 when his education was important to him and his family, as well. We were not really sure at all times if he or his family would want anything to do with them, much less take on any financial responsibility for them.

When I asked Caitlin what was the one thing she was looking forward to the most about having the babies, she said “Just them being here - being able to see and hold them at last.” When I asked what was the one thing she feared the most, she said “Alex not being there.” Thank God that despite his early fears, he was right there with her and has really stepped up to the plate and wants to be a good daddy to those little girls. His entire family has fallen in love with them as well and it’s such a comfort and joy to us all to know the babies will have as much love and support in their lives as they deserve.

And despite my own initial fears and conflicting emotions, I feel blessed to have been able to see Caitlin during her pregnancy and to be at the hospital when they were born. Watching her at the doctor visits during the sonograms - it was obvious even back then that she was totally in love with them. The look of awe on her face looking at those fuzzy pictures, the way she breathed “awww” in a hushed tone when she could make out their little fuzzy faces, kicking legs and tiny thumb sucking - could choke me up more than anything else. While she was in early labor, the babies were kicking up a storm and it hurt her when they kicked right in the place where they had the monitors. At one point, I went over and put my mouth right next to her stomach and talked to the babies, telling them to chill out and hold on. To our amazement, they stopped kicking and their heart rates calmed down. A great introduction to their great grandma!

I’m happy that Caitlin lets her grandma “baby” her without all the objections when her mom does so, and I feel perfectly justified in my grandma role in spoiling her as much as I can while still trying to instill some important life lessons at the same time. We’ve always been close and able to communicate quite well, even though I’ve been on the road so much during her older years. Despite time and distance apart, it always feels like we can just pick right back up where we left off and talk openly and honestly with each other.

So despite any bumps in the road to come, we’re committed to travel them together. As I once read, “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, but only saps today of its strength." I pray for the necessary strength and welcome the upcoming joys of watching these twin souls come into their own strengths. And it’s always possible to choose to look on the bright side. As another mother of twins advised, “It is an amazing experience that I wouldn't trade for the world. Watching twins grow is watching unconditional love between siblings grow. It is truly incredible. Your family has been blessed with twins and you all will enjoy them. With her being so young it will help because she will be able to chase them easier!

Another thing I read recently really hit a place in my heart, too: “If I could tell you anything about succeeding in life, it would be to stop trying to fight your own limitations, stop trying to "fix" your weaknesses, and start working in your strength areas. If you spend your life strengthening your weaknesses, all you end up with is a bunch of weak strengths. If you spend your life strengthening your strengths, you are strong. You are mighty.”

So our mighty families will be traveling this road together…more updates to come.